M. Csikszentmihalyi

As I got closer to my release date, our country was falling into a recession. Lots of things were changing. Banks and brokerage houses were failing. I started to question the state of the economy that I would face once I got out. I didn’t know when I would get out. It could’ve been 2010, 2011, 2012, or 2013. There were some things out of my control, including the type of economy I would face.

I discussed those challenges with my wife. Carole married me inside a prison’s visiting room and we’d been together for longer than six years by then. She had gone through a great deal being married to a man in prison, but we were on a joint path. At the start of our relationship, she decided to work toward nursing. First, she had to earn her prerequisites. That was hard. It was difficult to study algebra and chemistry as a teenager, and even more difficult to study those courses in your late 30s. But she persisted. She became a CNA and an LVN. As we discussed the changing economy, we decided that Carole would be wise to pursue a higher credential. We started making plans for her to return to school so that she could earn her RN.

In the meantime, I would need to make further adjustments in anticipation of the challenges I would face. Carole sent me a copy of book that she thought would help. It was called Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, discusses overcoming challenges and reframing failures. Csikszentmihalyi emphasizes the importance of embracing challenges, learning from setbacks, and finding ways to align personal growth with meaningful activities. His concept of “flow” often arises in situations where individuals push themselves to achieve difficult tasks that match their skills, requiring focus and adaptation to overcome obstacles.

Failure is an unavoidable part of life, but it doesn’t have to define us. Mihaly describes how individuals can use challenges, including failures, as opportunities to grow and thrive. He argues that when we approach difficulties with a mindset of curiosity and resilience, we transform setbacks into stepping stones toward mastery and fulfillment.

Key Concepts from Flow

1. Challenge-Skill Balance: Csikszentmihalyi explains that achieving a state of flow requires balancing challenges with skills. Failure often occurs when challenges exceed our current skills. Instead of being discouraged, he advises focusing on incremental improvements to develop the skills needed to meet the challenge.
2. Intrinsic Motivation: In Flow, Csikszentmihalyi highlights the importance of intrinsic motivation—pursuing goals for personal growth and satisfaction rather than external rewards. Failure becomes less intimidating when seen as part of an enjoyable process of mastery.
3. Reframing Failure as Feedback: Rather than viewing failure as a sign of inadequacy, Csikszentmihalyi suggests treating it as valuable feedback. Every failure provides insights into what needs adjustment, helping to refine your approach and bring you closer to success.
   

Lesson Activity: The Flow Challenge Reflection

1. Step 1: Identify a Past Failure
   Think about a time when you attempted something challenging and did not succeed. Write a brief summary of the experience, focusing on:
   • What you were trying to accomplish.
   • Why you believe you fell short.
   • How you felt during and after the experience.
2. Step 2: Apply the Flow Framework
   Reflect on the failure using Csikszentmihalyi’s principles:
   1. Was the challenge too great for your current skills? If so, what skills could you develop to try again?
   2. Did you feel intrinsically motivated to succeed, or were external pressures driving you?
   3. What lessons or feedback can you extract from this experience?
3. Step 3: Plan Your Next Step
   Using what you’ve learned, design a small, actionable step to revisit the challenge. For example:
   1. If the challenge was learning a new skill, break it into smaller, achievable milestones.
   2. If external pressures overwhelmed you, refocus your efforts on intrinsic rewards.
4. Step 4: Seek Flow
   With your plan in place, set aside time to revisit the challenge. Approach it with a mindset of curiosity, focusing on the process rather than the outcome. Pay attention to moments of flow—when you feel completely engaged and absorbed in the task.

Writing Activity

Write a short reflection on how this exercise helped you view failure differently.

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