I’d been in the penitentiary for about a year or two when a lieutenant paged me to his office. By then, I knew that being summoned to the lieutenant’s office was a precursor to bad news. When I got to his office, the lieutenant told me that he was going to lock me in the hole. He had learned that I was using typewriters in the library for school work, when the rules only authorized them for communicating with the court.
Those rules didn’t make sense to me. But dealing with those kinds of frustrations were part of serving a lengthy sentence. The system expected me to follow the rules, regardless of how ridiculous they seemed to me. I had to focus on the long term and what I was trying to accomplish. I learned that by developing accountability logs, I could stay on track. I needed those kinds of resources to block out all the negativity of prison. And there was a great deal of it. I heard a constant refrain of negativity, regardless of what stage of the journey I was in.
- Some staff members told me that they didn’t care anything about the preparations I wanted to make in preparation for success upon release.
- Many suggested that I focus on serving time and forget about the world outside.
- Policies obstructed my access to learning opportunities.
- The culture of confinement obliterated hope.
Lessons from leaders helped me develop a stronger mindset. I learned how to cope with setbacks by reading books by people such as Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl offered profound advice about overcoming a victim mindset. His philosophy centered on finding meaning in life, even in the face of suffering. Some of his key insights included:
Choice of Attitude
Frankl believed that while we couldn’t always control our circumstances, we have the freedom to choose our response to them. He wrote:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
This perspective empowers individuals to shift from blaming external conditions to taking responsibility for their inner world.
Finding Meaning in Suffering
Frankl argued that the ways that we interpret and respond to suffering make a huge difference. If we can find finding meaning in suffering, we could transform the experience into an opportunity for growth. He stated:
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Responsibility for Our Life
Frankl emphasized personal responsibility as a path to freedom. He urged people to focus on what they can contribute to life, rather than what life owes them:
“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
By focusing on purpose, individuals can overcome feelings of helplessness and reclaim control over their lives.
Live for a Purpose
Frankl noted that having a higher purpose—whether it’s a cause, loved ones, or a goal—can give individuals strength to endure hardships. He famously said:
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.'”
This sense of purpose shifts focus from one’s struggles to a larger, more fulfilling goal.
Focus on the Future
Frankl encouraged individuals to adopt a forward-looking mindset, imagining themselves overcoming their current challenges. This shift in perspective helps people break free from a victim mindset and envision a life of possibility and fulfillment.
By applying Frankl’s principles, I learned how to transcend a victim mindset, turning struggles into stepping stones toward a meaningful and empowered life. That strategy got me through 9,500 days in prison, and it helped me build a life of meaning, relevance, and dignity when I got out.
Journals became a tool that kept me focusing on the future. I could set a goal, describing what I wanted to accomplish over the short and long term. Then I could break the goal into manageable parts, measuring progress along the way. As shown by my fitness and finance log, I still use that tool today.
Self-directed learning:
What tools or habits can you implement to stay focused and move toward your goals?
