Appreciation

Thursday, January 23, 2025

On August 12, 2013, I finished my obligation to the Federal Bureau of Prisons. From the time I was 23 until I was 49, I lived as a federal prisoner 16377-004. Despite those decades inside, I always felt grateful for the opportunities that opened. Even while inside, I could appreciate the many blessings that came my way. Living in gratitude, I think, opens more opportunities and keeps us moving in the right direction.

It’s the reason I concluded the final module of our Straight-A Guide course with a lesson on appreciation. We may go through severe crises at one time or another in our life, but if we live in gratitude, we can build a pathway to something better.

Since a judge ordered that the severity of my charges meant that I should not get bail, I spent the first year of confinement in solitary. I’d never been incarcerated before, so I didn’t know what to expect. After the judge sentenced me to 45 years, I transferred to a high-security penitentiary. The prison looked ominous, with 40-foot walls surrounding it. Still, I felt grateful that I was able to walk outside on the prison’s yard, and look up to see a blue sky. I could breathe fresh air, which felt liberating. The many books I read while in solitary helped me to see a brighter future. I felt grateful that I could start implementing a plan that, I hoped, would eventually lead me home.

While inside, I had as good of an experience as a person could expect. Some of the many blessings that came my way include:

  • I had an abundance of family support.
  • From reading the Bible, I started to find hope in stories like The Parable of the Talents, or the Prodigal Son. They led me to believe that I could build a better life, even from prison.
  • Socrates taught me how to think differently, to learn by asking better questions.
  • Frederick Douglass helped me to believe that if I learned to communicate better, I would be able to make meaningful contributions to society, even from prison.
  • Mentors came into my life and inspired me to work harder.
  • Universities allowed me to develop skills and work toward academic credentials.
  • My support network grew, welcoming me into the fabric of the broader society.
  • Publishing opportunities opened, allowing me to contribute meaningfully to the world.
  • I got married inside of a prison’s visiting room, bringing love into my life and making me feel more complete as a person.
  • Opportunities to earn resources opened, allowing me to feel productive.

Those experiences make it easier for me to accept hardship and setbacks when they come. I know that crises are a part of life. If we train our mind to appreciate the blessings that come our way, and we live in gratitude, more opportunities open.

It’s not only my personal experience of living in struggle that gives me this belief, but also what I see in others. Consider the story of Ross Ulbricht, for example

On October 1, 2013, authorities arrested Ross Ulbricht. It was only a few months after I concluded my term, so I didn’t know much about the popular website he built, known as Silk Road. Authorities charged Ross with operating a Continuing Criminal Enterprise, which was the same charge I faced. A jury convicted Ross, and a federal judge sentenced him to a double life sentence, plus 40 years.

Ross was in his late 20s when the judge gave him that unconscionable sentence. Yet he never lost hope. He built tremendous support. His mother and fiancee built a website for him, https://freeross.org/. His attitude of strength through adversity influenced more than 600,000 people to support his petition for clemency. 

Earlier this week, on Tuesday, January 22, President Trump granted Ross Ulbricht a full pardon and he walked out of prison.

Some people may consider Ross “lucky.” I believe his pardon has origins in the fact that he lived in gratitude, despite the injustice of a life sentence that a federal judge imposed.

Self-directed Learning Question:

  • In what ways does gratitude, or appreciation for the blessings in your life, influence opportunities for your future?